I must say, it's been quite awhile since I posted. I actually thought I was done with this blog since I havent actually been working in the 911 arena since I left APD almost a year ago. But, recently we lost an officer in the line of duty; Officer Rodney Holder. After not posting for so long, I found that I was compelled to write something, you know, anything, (I don't know), just a little bit if I could, to express the overwhelming emotions I've been feeling.
I have to tell ya, I'm deeply saddened for so may reasons, it's hard to think of them all. But of course, any way you look at it, it's always a tragic loss when an officer is killed. After hearing the news of Ofc Holder's death, I felt shock, then anger, and then betrayal...I mean, how could something like this even happen? I wanted to place blame, I also wanted someone to have to pay...I mean PAY!! I mean, somebody better be going to jail or worse......But, bad things don't always happen because some really bad guy just happened to get the upper hand. When it's all said and done, after all the emotions, I have the hardest time realizing just this...bad things happen, that this happened, there it is, it's really true...it happened, and there's nothing anyone can do to make it seem right....
But at the same time, there's actually a part of me that feels proud and maybe even a bit hopeful? Now for those that were close to him, that probably sounds completly stupid and insensetive, but just hear me out. I think you just might agree with at least some of what I have to say....
Before I get to that, I'd like to tell just a little about my experience as it relates to Ofc Rodney Holder. As a dispatcher for several years at APD, he was there when I started, and still there when I left. I couldn't possibly tell ya how many times I gave him calls over the radio, or how many times I had talked to him over the phone, or even the countless times I just ran into him in the halls. I was not a close friend of Rodneys and didn't know him extremely well, but I can tell you this; Ofc Holder, ALWAYS:
-Said "Hello, or Hey, how's it going" when passing me in the halls
-waved hi or howdy (however you take it) when I was outside on my breaks and he was passing by .....((when too far out in the parking lot for casual greetings))
- laughed at other peoples bad jokes when we were just sittin around outside con-fabbin
- was someone you were glad walked up
- was someone worth talking to
- treated me with respect
- carried himself in a professional manner
- had alot of patience when answering all my silly questions about a call
- was polite on the phone
- someone everybody liked to be around
- worked extremely hard every day
- would make himself 10-8 (in service) when not on duty just to help out with a call
- did everything he could to help other officers when it was needed
The list goes on, but you get the point. He was one of the "good guys". One of the guys at work that made you feel like you were in the right place. Doing the right thing, ya know? When you're working with people like that, it makes you feel good about yourself, like you must be doing something right. At least, that's how I felt anyways. There were more than a few officers at APD that gave me a sense of purpose in what I did every day. People like him made me feel like I was actually doing something worthwhile, not just putting in my time to get a paycheck.....We should all hope to find ways to be more like him....
But there's alot more to it than that. When I see these guys, these few guys (and gals), who have that attitude, and that presence that says, "I'm here to do my best to make a difference", and they bring it to work with them every day,......I'm just in awe. These guys are so important to ALL of our lives and most people don't even have a clue. They (police/firefighters /first responders) are the difference between order and chaos. They (people like Rodney) inspire those around them (including other officers) to do better, to have a higher purpose, to serve the greater good. They realize that what they do is not just a job, not just another paycheck, but a calling........ to keep our society safe and in balance, and in order; a mission to keep our society from falling away to the evils out there that would otherwise prevail....
So here it is,.....when I say I'm glad when I think about Officer Rodney Holder, I'm thinking about this. He was on the force for many, many years and he knew exactly what he was risking. He, just as well as anybody, knew the dangers involved in his work. And, I guarantee you, He knew just how much he had to lose, as well as the costs to his family..... But, here's the crux....he stayed on....he hung in there....he kept working....for you and for me......he worked every day, day after day for so many years, helping to keep us safe....He continued to be our sheild, our pillar. And why???..........
Because, this is hard to admit, we all still need heroes.....and heroes always sacrifice for others. Even when they get little or no thanks....But thanks to the heroes, we still have hope for ourselves and us as a people. Their efforts truly make a positive impact on us all. They and their collective efforts are the biggest reason that we live in the best country in the WORLD! For this and many other reasons; Rodney is one of our Heroes.
I'm glad for people like Rodney who keep at it and make it worthwhile for all of us. I'm glad that people like him are out there and are willing to risk it all to keep us safe. I'm glad that I had the honor to know and work with him. And, I'm glad that his family is so blessed to be part of someone so deserving of Jesus' rewards....
More than anything, I'm much happier that he lived, than I am saddened that he died......Be glad that you knew him, or even knew of him. He is what we want to be...........Be glad for us all, because how he lived shows how we can all live better. The life he lived, is a life of hope for us all!
In Loving Memory-
Rodney, Tell Jesus I said "Hi"
-Jeremy
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